hear ye, hear ye... here's miss psycho

I'm miss psycho, who dwells in the nothingness and the fickle blackness of life. The nothingness that seemed like a speck of dust in the ground that everyone just take for granted. I'm stomped on, ignored, as I know nothing about life.

stupidity of life, yes I know.

I've just read an excerpt from Nibokov's work, and I found it very intriguing and inspiring. the reason why I am writing here right now. But that's another senseless topic to be tackled, so I'm going to dive in miss psycho's topic for the day:

Love.

Let me start this topic by stressing that there's no perfect person living in love, and nothing but love for that matter. Even that seemingly fictional figure strutting above us is NOT perfect enough to not HATE. No one. It has been said that we only see the light in the dark; and the same applies to love. We cannot realize love if we don't know hate. Everyone has hated in some part of their life, everyone had wanted to kill in extreme fury, anger that was included in hate, of course.

But why is that that I never understand love, even if my exposure to hate had been intense? What have my hate contributed to my perception of love? Nothing perhaps, or has it just piled more remorse... blah.

In short, I never understood. I, however have some ideas on some of the things that revolve around love.

Relationships. I find having this particularly stupid. Why must you commit yourself to someone? For comfort, what? I am cynical, yes. But you must understand that I have never been in a serious relationship. And having so much opinion given to me made my mind hazed. I define a relationship as something built only from sexual desires, as libido is the first thing that controls ourselves. Doesn't it? Or probably I am just succumbed in hate that these definitions arouse from my mind.

There are some times as well that I don't comprehend emotions connected to love. I find it rather hard to react or give out any emotions when someone shows me something of the sort.

Perhaps I'm numb...?

It's very hard to judge if I'm indeed numb. I'm rather emphatical to other people showing emotions but not to me; rather people showing emotions to other people. Yet when it comes to me, I feel nothing, and oftentimes I misinterpret many of them.


Oh well.

Why must I confuse myself with something I don't like? I must stop this nonsense and just sulk in the dark recesses of my mind. There's more to do and think than do this contemplation.

Miss Psycho, still a psycho... signing out.