a friggin hot september

it should be cold these days. it's september, the months of -ber coming, and it should really be cold. I should be curling like a fetus at night from the cold, and grabbing my blanket or wearing socks and jacket at night.

oh BUT NOOO.

it's so hot that sometimes I have to fix the fan at myself so it'd be cooler. in the morning, the sun will be up oh-so-high and the clouds will be barely visible since the sky's so blue.

and it's so HOT.

the weather's fooling all of us; we think it'd be sunny all day, but in the afternoon, the rain will come barging down without an invitation. What the hell, they don't have the right to just ruin the weather like that! wait, what am I saying? my head frigging aches.

yes, the weather here is confused. I bet it has identity crisis. it won't decide if it's gay or lesbian. it's hard to choose, I bet. sometimes it would be raining on campus, but when I head home, there would be no rain, the sky's so blue and when I look up, the clouds are divided. One part is dark, another is light. No, I'm not referring to Daisuke in DNAngel and his identity crisis - whether he's in puberty or a budding kiddo.

Wow. maybe there's two dimensions in this place. Maybe I have yet to find a black hole so then I'd be transferred to an alternate world, or maybe in the Demon Kingdom where the good-looking guys of Kyo Kara Maoh are. That's cool. That way I could escape from the dreadful thesis.

And I wonder what I'm doing right now? I'm typing here, fooling around, trying to fix my iPod when I'm supposed to type my frigging thesis - and wait, I think I'm still not starting data analysis, so what the hell am I going to type? And then in my data, I have a hole - like a hole on the back of your pants that seemed like someone just pulled out your tail like in Dragon Ball when Piccolo pulled out Goku's tail? Yeah, something like that.

Anyway there's a hole since the frigging library doesn't have that one issue of a newspaper that I NEEEED. Oh my God, I need it, so why, oh why, is that the only issue that is missing? Is the Demon King after me, after all (OHNOOHNOMAJORNANAIMITATION)? And to top it all off, the deadline of this frigging thesis is on the September 13th, the 13th!!!!!

...good thing it isn't friday on the 13th of september.

oh my god oh my god I am panicking.

wait, wasn't I just talking about the weather?

....

yes, it's so hot. and maybe all these anxiety is making it hotter. doesn't make sense? try it. imagine one day you were just surfing the net in your PC and then your PC just suddenly BEEEEEEP SHUT DOWN and then when you open it, there's a message that tells you all your files are wiped out!

oh what will you doooo!!! I know you're gonna sweat like mad and then think oh what am I gonna do what am I gonna do!

another scenario which is so familiar to me: you're listening to your 40gb iPod, enjoying the voice of Yuichi Ikusawa (you know you like hiiiim) and then suddenly, he sings 'a-a-a-a-a-a-afu-fu-fu-fu-fu' like a japanese villain on crack and then all your 5,000 songs won't play!!!

oh what will you doooo!!! I know you're gonna sweat like mad and then think oh what am I gonna do what am I gonna do!



I told you, I'm talking about the weather! so then, you will perspire like mad, even though you felt so cold earlier and you don't know why? it's the most uncomfortable position you will be in, because oooooh you don't know what to do.


ah, I don't know what to do too.

I just wanna sing White Stripes' song, 'I don't know what to do with myself' over and over again, and forget it all....


the weather here is so bad.

oh sanity...


(I just kept typing, what did I write again? :O)

how to tell someone to GO AWAY?

I met this person four or five years ago.

and now he's haunting my yahoomail inbox. it's like a ghost coming back to life to haunt you and pester you. and when you read his words, you know it's him - GODDAMN it's him and you feel so nervous because whatthefuck - it's him.

The mere thought of him makes my skin crawl. My heart beats so hard it feels it'll burst not because of anything positive - but because I want to get rid of him and FAST.

It's not right to disappear five years ago and then come around again asking to relive those days "we've had". But it's not right. It's not just RIGHT!

I've continued living my life - evolved like Pikachu to Raichu or Daisuke's Digimons (wait whatthefuckamIsayinghere...) and evolved like a real person. I evolved as a person who can finally think for herself and not depend on others. I've evolved to a more mature person - a far cry from five years ago.

And now the past is haunting me. I want that person to go away. NOW. but because I'm afraid he might hack into my PC and destroy the remaining fragments of my joy - I can't tell him how. I wanted to ignore his e-mails and proceed with my life but I'm still afraid. I'm angry and I'm afraid.

How do you tell someone to go away???

horny lyrics, androgenous singers who are SEXIER than me

Gackt:


it's SO unfair. why do this guy look PRETTIER than me?!?? look sexier than me? when I'm a GIRL, and gackt's a guy. so unfair. why's life so unfair?

but then again I enjoy seeing gackt and hyde. pretty boys probably having a lot of feminine hormones (I forgot the term. :P). they're so pretty I wanna take them home and drop them in a tank of formalin, so I'd preserve their beauty. heheh

horny lyrics by Gackt:

Vanilla by Gackt

You are a sincere moralist, running a pretty finger over me.
I am a pure terrorist, just as you hoped a revolution is happneing.
A specialist bound in romance, sticking me with long nails.
an egoist who wants to assure its love, wanting to reach to deep within you.
your face is getting farther away, ah, before I'm not myself anymore.
would it be ok to love you, in the gyrating evening just like this...

harder deeper til lips that are insanely well used to the act,
melt with each other I am... your Vanilla.

"...oh you're too stiff" You're just like plastic being this frigid.
an ecologist caught in a hot glance, I'm impatient for your hot kiss.
your face which gets distorted, ah I wish I could be myself.

would it be ok to love you, in the gyrating evening.
just like this... harder faster lips painfully wet don't need words...

you and me (are) not burning love.
ah oh how many mornings do we greet.
ah will this night ever end ?
ah spread across the sky
ah white flowers surround us and die.
Is it ok to love you, in the gyrating evening just like this...

"I've seen a tail" I'm into you so much I can't stand it.
A crew sees cring knees, I wanna need, not betray.

would it be ok to love you, in the gyrating evening just like this...
harder deeper til pelvic thrusts that are insanely well used to the act,
melt with each other you are my caretaker.